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You're telling a friend an amazing story,

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and you just get to the best part
when suddenly he interrupts,

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"The alien and I," not "Me and the alien."

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Most of us would probably be annoyed,

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but aside from the rude interruption,

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does your friend have a point?

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Was your sentence actually 
grammatically incorrect?

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And if he still understood it,
why does it even matter?

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From the point of view of linguistics,

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grammar is a set of patterns 
for how words are put together

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to form phrases or clauses,

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whether spoken or in writing.

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Different languages 
have different patterns.

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In English, the subject 
normally comes first,

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followed by the verb,

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and then the object,

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while in Japanese 
and many other languages,

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the order is subject, object, verb.

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Some scholars have tried to identify
patterns common to all languages,

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but apart from some basic features,

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like having nouns or verbs,

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few of these so-called 
linguistic universals have been found.

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And while any language needs consistent
patterns to function,

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the study of these patterns opens up
an ongoing debate between two positions

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known as prescriptivism
and descriptivism.

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Grossly simplified,

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prescriptivists think a given language 
should follow consistent rules,

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while descriptivists see variation
and adaptation as a natural

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and necessary part of language.

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For much of history, the vast majority
of language was spoken.

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But as people became more interconnected
and writing gained importance,

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written language was standardized
to allow broader communication

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and ensure that people in different parts
of a realm could understand each other.

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In many languages, this standard form
came to be considered the only proper one,

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despite being derived from just one
of many spoken varieties,

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usually that of the people in power.

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Language purists worked to establish
and propagate this standard

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by detailing a set of rules that reflected
the established grammar of their times.

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And rules for written grammar were applied
to spoken language, as well.

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Speech patterns that deviated from the
written rules were considered corruptions,

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or signs of low social status,

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and many people who had grown up
speaking in these ways

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were forced to adopt 
the standardized form.

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More recently, however,

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linguists have understood that speech
is a separate phenomenon from writing

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with its own regularities and patterns.

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Most of us learn to speak at such an early
age that we don't even remember it.

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We form our spoken repertoire through
unconscious habits,

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not memorized rules.

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And because speech also uses mood
and intonation for meaning,

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its structure is often more flexible,

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adapting to the needs of speakers
and listeners.

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This could mean avoiding complex clauses
that are hard to parse in real time,

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making changes to avoid awkward
pronounciation,

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or removing sounds to make speech faster.

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The linguistic approach that tries
to understand and map such differences

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without dictating correct ones
is known as descriptivism.

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Rather than deciding how language
should be used,

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it describes how people actually use it,

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and tracks the innovations 
they come up with in the process.

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But while the debate between

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prescriptivism 
and descriptivism continues,

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the two are not mutually exclusive.

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At its best, prescriptivism is useful
for informing people

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about the most common established
patterns at a given point in time.

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This is important, 
not only for formal contexts,

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but it also makes communication easier
between non-native speakers

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from different backgrounds.

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Descriptivism, on the other hand,

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gives us insight into how our minds work

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and the instinctive ways in which we 
structure our view of the world.

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Ultimately, grammar is best thought of
as a set of linguistic habits

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that are constantly being negotiated
and reinvented

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by the entire group of language users.

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Like language itself,

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it's a wonderful and complex fabric

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woven through the contributions
of speakers and listeners,

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writers and readers,

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prescriptivists and descriptivists,

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from both near and far.